Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sharing the Road

This morning I had a very fun ride to work.  I did one of my usual loops and then rode towards the city to see if I could catch up with Moe and ride in with him to work.  I dropped down to the bottom of Bryn Mawr Avenue and noticed a really pretty silver Audi S4 shoot by me on the left.  Audi S4s are pretty sweet automobiles.
This guy's auto was not tricked out like this one with the extra fancy rims and whatnot, but it was still nice. I looked over it again as I passed him on the right at the intersection at the bottom of the hill where it crosses Hagys Ford road.

As I went through the intersection, the driver of said automobile honked at me and made some rather pointed pointing motions at me.  As I started up the hill, he managed to pass me, which is understandable given that his car engine is capable of producing nearly 400 times the horsepower I have in my little baby-baby legs.  He pulled alongside me and screamed at me that I have to obey the signals.  I said "yes sir, have a nice morning" because I certainly didn't need to argue with him at that point.  He then decided that it would be a good idea to use his automobile to threaten me.

This is where everything changes for me.  Lets just say that I didn't obey the signal.  Fine.  I am an irrsponsible person, etc. and took my own life into my hands by rolling through an empty intersection at 6:30 in the morning on a road with a 25 mph speed limit.  Ok, I am perfectly happy to accept responsibility for that decision, maybe it is the libertarian in me deciding that I can be responsible for my own safety.

But Mr. I want to be a Vigilante at 6:30 a.m. on my way to work has a different problem entirely.  You've made your feelings clear with the honking and the pointed pointing gestures, and then you made it even more clearly with your yelling through your window at me.

Then you went way, way over the line.  You are driving a huge deadly weapon and you decided that you would point it at me and wave it around a little bit.  As you squeezed towards the shoulder and the curb as I struggled up the hill in the only gear I had, I moved to the outer portion of the lane to give myself some room and not be squeezed into the tree there.  You decided that you would move back to the outside there, making sure that I could not pass you on this pretty steep hill while I am struggling to turn over my 42x16 and you are going ten miles an hour in your super hot shot car.

And you are weaving back and forth trying to show me who is boss.

Ok, not the fun and exciting TV show, but really, in real life, who is the boss.

Guess what, I know who the boss is.  You clearly make more money than me, since you drive a car I know I can never afford.  You are clearly the bigger, stronger man, not just because you are driving a huge car while I am on a cheap little aluminum bike.  You just must be since you are the one that gets to decide the consequences for breaking the rules.

So I hope I see you again and can actually tell the cops your license plate number.  Since they are the authorities and get to decide the penalties for obeying the signals as well as the penalties for waiving a deadly weapon in someone's face.

I also hope that you somehow find a way to feel better.  If you are angry enough at 6:30 in the morning to threaten a cyclist with your really fancy car that has to be enjoyable to drive, you are obviously in possession of some pretty serious problems.  I would not want to be you for a whole lot of money and as many S4s as I could handle.

So here's to you Mr. Boss man:

I didn't get the chance to respond to your ranking of me as #1 this morning so I wanted to make sure you knew that no, you are number one.  You are the man.  Even this little kid knows it.  So congratulations on being a horrible person and leading a terrible life.  I can only hope that someday you manage to sneak your way out from under the terribleness.

I'll give you one suggestion:  Ride your bike to work.  You'd be surprised at how liberating it is.  Even with people like you on the road.


Nate said...

Great post. Nothing like a poor over-compensating little man to really expose the best of humanity. We've all been there before. Maybe it's the cell-phone talking, make-up applying, SUV driving biznatch who guns her mighty steed past you at accelerating speeds only to rapidly pull a right turn 10 feet in front of you into the driveway of that high end fashion spa so that she can be the first in line for that all-too-important cucumber melon wash, leaving you picking gravel out of your side for the next 3 months. Or maybe it is the gas-guzzling, truck driving, cud chewing guy who still hasn't figured out how to fit his Ford "piss-on-toyota" superduty XL 350 truck into only one lane of the road and feels like it would be sweet to tag you with his mirror while he tries in vain to make it to the "World's Best Mullet Contest" registration booth before the deadline. Or maybe, it is the jackass S4 driver you so eloquently referenced. Either way, it happens way too often and is nothing if not infuriating and dangerous.

Clearly, you've hit a nerve.


great site by the way...

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