Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Into the Rain

It is 5:10AM and we are up. Well, I am up and Nathan seems to still be slumbering. So I'll start getting my stuff ready and eating loudly soon to be sure he isn't tardy for the 6:00 departure bell.

Rain in the forecast, probably unavoidable even with the early start. I'll miss my "B" bike with great clip on fenders, disc brakes (that don't get mushy and significantly less effective in the rain) and the big tires.

But we've all got fancy rain gear galore so we won't get cold. We swallow some grit from the riders in front of us, we might have to brake a little sooner and go a little slower. We might not have quite as much fun as we've been having these last few days.

But considering at least one of the big reasons why we're doing this, it sort of seems fair.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Bike Church on the Lobster Roll

Today is Sunday and I didn't go to church because I was riding my bicycle. This is not something that happens often but when it does, it is called "bike church," a term I learned from Nathan years ago. And it actually made sense to me when I thought about it because I was so struck by my friend Jimmy saying to me when I was in college that "running is a form of prayer."

So that was a long way of telling you that I am going to bring up another Mormon thing today because I think it is apt because it is Sunday and all that. There's a guy named Lehi in the Book of Mormon who supposedly told his son Jacob that "there must needs be opposition in all things." This is not a concept unique to Lehi, it runs through all sorts of religions, but basically without good, you can't have bad. Without bran flakes, fruity pebbles lose their appeal. Without some of us being afraid of going downhill fast on our bikes, you couldn't have other people who love it so much. (maybe that last one doesn't quite work but you get the idea)

So today is a series of stories about opposites.

At one point (sorry Dr.) I was feeling peeved at Nathan. I don't like knowing exactly how far there is to go (except in race situations when I really, really want to know). I especially don't like it when I am not feeling great or the task is unpleasant. When I worked at Red Lobster and Macaroni Grill in high school, I would try to avoid looking at my watch or the clock because I felt like not knowing made the time go by faster. The whole watched pot thing.

But then, not too long after telling us that we were 1/3 of the way done with the ride and 1/4 of the way done with the climbing (I think) Nathan pulled us on a long, gradual descent with some tailwind at about 73mph for at least an hour. And then when we passed a "ride and fly" festival, there was a finish line and Nathan posted up like Edvald Boasson-Hagen and it was tremendous and I loved him for it and forgave him for being helpful and me being annoyed at him being helpful.


(Actually a re-enactment of the original post-up that he did when we rolled onto the gravel descent but also a preview of the later post-up at the airshow.)

Today had more climbing than yesterday, or the day before, more climbing than tomorrow, just more. And that was worrisome. I felt like yesterday went pretty well and then I was afraid that today would be something of a disaster for me. I know part of this is me sand-bagging but I've had some rough days on long rides the day after long rides so it wasn't just that...

Anyway, I was nervous. And stuff didn't always feel great, my feet hurt, I couldn't find a comfortable position for my hands all day, my drinks weren't always cold (seriously once I complain about one thing, the absurdity of complaining at all about this whole endeavor is readily apparent but bear with me please), and there were moments like when we started out flying after lunch and I was doing 400 watts to try and catch back on behind flying Brian Howles that I struggled.

But then we went up the last big climb of the day and I  managed to stay pretty close to the smooth, ridiculously relaxed (and fast) climbing Brian. And it felt good to dig deep a little bit and feel like there was still power down in there. There is an immense satisfaction that comes when you ask your body for something and it responds, particularly because you know you've worked hard to make it capable of doing such things.

Which is part of the paradox of this whole trip that is so fascinating. Because asking your body to do something, especially something like going up a climb chasing Brian Howles towards the end of day 3 of 100+ miles a day of riding and having it actually do it is the exact opposite of being sick, of having your body betray you, whether it is cancer or any other kind of illness. 

We are doing this physically challenging thing and in doing so trying to help provide mental health care for people dealing with that horrific betrayal where instead of doing what you ask it to, your body is destroying itself.

So it makes sense. 



Because when you roll into town and find the Howles clan holding up signs and cheering you on and telling you that it matters, it makes today into the opposite of the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Lobster Roll Days One and Two

Nathan said he was going to blog about the ride. I've been neglecting this bad boy for quite some time so I figured why not fire it up. But then I have had absolutely zero cool things to say. And yesterday, when we got to the end of the ride at 6:30, I couldn't come up with a single thing. So here's the second attempt.

I only drank two Mt. Dews today. And only 12oz each at that. I'm just thinking that if I go to that well too many times too early, it won't have the same restorative effect on day 5 and 6 when I really need it. Right?

You would think that after 105 miles yesterday the part of me that would hurt the most would be my legs. But honestly, it was my hands and the bits I sit on. Vague discomfort, then really annoying, then feeling overwhelmed by the desire to not be sitting on my bike pedaling.

Of course, if I give in to that, I miss this:


And there were plenty of times today thanks to some very smooth roads and some nice tailwinds where you get to just cruise along in line at 20-25mph. There is something immensely satisfying about working in a pace line and perhaps even more so when they are your friends and you are working on something that is so much fun and will end up helping people facing something much less pleasant. Something terrifying and soul crushing.

Plus one of my favorite songs and one that I even had ambitions of learning to play on the piano ages ago is Ashokan Farewell, composed by Jay Ungar not far the reservoir at a camp where he ran a festival for years.

He said he wrote the tune as a way of trying to deal with the feeling of loss that overwhelmed him when he had to return to regular life and say goodbye to the special people that he played and sang and lived with at the camp.


He wrote that by the time "the tune took form, I was in tears. I kept it to myself for many months unable to fully understand the emotions that welled up whenever I played it. I had no idea that this simple tune could affect others in the same way."

Well it does.

And I think all too often we think the things that move us might not move other people and so we keep them to ourselves and we don't share.

There's a strong current of shared salvation that runs through Mormon theology and one that I've been more and more moved by over the past ten years as we've been part of a very special congregation in Philadelphia and also, sadly, as we've born the burdens of grief and loss together as we've lost members of that extended family.

And I've tried to articulate a thought along those lines as I've thought about this ride and what we are trying to do and how doing something that I really enjoy and am incredibly privileged and fortunate to be able to do (ride bikes with my friends through beautiful places for six days while neglecting all the other responsibilities in my life) could possibly be meaningful to people facing the exact opposite sort of thing.

But then someone said something to me Thursday night about this mattering. At first I thought she was talking about something else and I tried to play it off with some off-hand comment. But she said it again, "it all matters."

So I still don't have anything cool to say but I am awfully grateful to share this week with Mike and Nathan and Tim and Brian and Rob and CJ and in some small way with the folks who will benefit from the support that people have donated to Flatwater.

Saturday, January 05, 2019

Ignorance is Strength: America’s Sports Mania


 
Ignorance is Strength[1]. Far from just the slogan of the Party in 1984, it might as well be the slogan for the sports industrial complex around the world.
Maybe ignorance is just more fun.
Because all it takes is a little peek behind the curtain and it gets a lot harder to watch the NCAA, the NFL, the Olympics, any of it.
How do you watch (and support) the NCAA, where the loan of a used car is used by the Ohio State athletic director to punish Maurice Clarett, a young man who dared to try and profit from his hard work and prodigious talent? It wasn’t Ohio State’s rules that served as the justification to take away a promising football career from a young man who’d worked really hard and overcome plenty of obstacles to have one. It wasn’t the fact that he’d endured a very painful freshman year and played well enough (while hurt) to lead them to a national title. It was the NCAA who was complicit in an investigation the university started itself at the request of Andy Geiger.
And if you take the time to figure out who Andy Geiger was and the decisions he had to make to try and thread the needle of protecting Ohio State (and himself) and dealing with this Clarett guy who was spilling the beans about all the broken rules and shady deals[2]keeping the Ohio State football team in business, it gets a bit more difficult to just sit back, drink a cold one and enjoy watching Ohio State play Michigan and pretend that these are “student-athletes” playing for pride or out of their loyalty to their respective programs.
Ignorance is way more fun.
Know the name Grigory Rodchenkov[3]? Ever heard of Bryan Fogel[4]or the Haute Route[5]? If you like watching the Olympics and cheering for these amazing humans who do such remarkable things, you may want to be sure you never find out anything about those guys or the race that Fogel entered to see if he could compete with the top few after engaging in a rigorous training program including the pharmacological aids he is sure the others are using. You should probably ignore the testimony of Rodchenkov, just accept the Russian-sponsored narrative that he was a crazy guy[6], motivated by revenge, ignore that his testimony and the evidence he revealed shows not only that the Russian Federation was doping its athletes across a whole range of sports but that they’d been doing it for decades.
The simple story of athletes from one country triumphing over those from another based on talent and hard work and all those human interest pieces on NBC is a lot less fun when you know that certain countries help their athletes get the right drugs and beat the tests and in other countries the athletes are on their own to get the good stuff and know when to come off and all the other tricks. Makes it a bit less exciting when you know the fix is in.
Knowledge is annoying, ignorance is strength.
Because ignorance means you can cheer whole-heartedly, unabashedly. There’s no need for a more cynical approach, knowing that money and politics and a host of other things influence that “simple” game and that certain rules apply to some athletes and not others. Ignorance means you can look down from your high horse when that evil man or woman makes the choice to cheat and gets caught, you don’t have to wonder about why they did it or who else is doing it or why their positive result got made public when Lance’s[7][8]wasn’t.
Ignorance means you can enjoy what these athletes do between the lines and on the TV and ignore everything else. You don’t have to worry about whether they actually get a degree or what happens after that poor kid gets carted off the field with a shredded knee that means not only that his season is over but maybe so is his scholarship[9], and with it his only chance to get a degree. You don’t have to worry about whether your favorite safety from the Chicago Bears killed himself[10] because of his willingness to sacrifice his body (and his head) to make the big hits that you loved watching in the 80s and 90s.
Knowledge gets in the way of dogmatic positions. Ignorance keeps it nice and simple.
Ignorance means you can pine for sports to go back to the way it was without all this nonsense about politics and protesting the anthems and that players can just be grateful for the opportunities they have to make money playing a game. Playing a game for crying out loud! You can ignore that politics in sports started the same time as doping in sports that started the same time as, well, as sports. Ignorance means you can ignore that the first Olympics was just as dirty as the most recent Olympics.
You can forget that our current NFL-supporting president sued the NFL in an attempt to force a merger with his league, the USFL, knowing that the tax exemptions and other public supports for the NFL would make him far richer as the owner of a franchise than the USFL which enjoyed far fewer public subsidies.
Ignorance is strength.
Ignorance allows us to ignore what might be one of the worst effects of sports mania in the United States. Are we surprised that somewhere around half a million teenagers are using anabolic steroids[11]and growth hormones? Is it any wonder that a number of these kids kill themselves in the midst of the hormonal and emotional crash[12]associated with the cessation of these drugs? When they watch their heroes on the football field or somewhere else and they see their incredible bodies and feats of strength and aspire to the same[13], is it any wonder that they quickly find a way to obtain and use the drugs they believe will help them overcome not just physical limitations but their insecurity and self doubt as well? But ask any local police department, almost any high school administrator or coach and they will likely be shocked at the scope of the problem. Because ignorance is strength.
Until it isn’t.
Notes.
[1]“Nineteen Eighty-Four – Wikipedia.”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[2]“Clarett Accuses Ohio State of N.C.A.A. Violations – The New York Times.” 10 Nov. 2004, https://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/10/sports/ncaafootball/clarett-accuses-ohio-state-of-ncaa-violations.html. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[3]“Grigory Rodchenkov – Wikipedia.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigory_Rodchenkov. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[4]“Bryan Fogel – IMDb.” https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2406731/. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[5]“Haute Route.” https://www.hauteroute.org/. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[6]“‘Grigory Rodchenkov confused his own evidence while testifying in ….” 24 Jan. 2018, https://www.rt.com/sport/416890-grigory-rodchenkov-evidence-cas/. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[7]“Armstrong Tested Positive for Steroids Four Times in 1999 Tour ….” 17 Apr. 2013, https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2013-04-17/armstrong-tested-positive-for-steroids-four-times-in-1999-tour. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[8]“How Lance Armstrong Never Tested Positive – Business Insider.” 10 Oct. 2012, https://www.businessinsider.com/how-lance-armstrong-never-tested-positive-2012-10. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[9]“‘I Trusted ‘Em’: When NCAA Schools Abandon Their Injured Athletes ….” 1 May. 2013, https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/05/i-trusted-em-when-ncaa-schools-abandon-their-injured-athletes/275407/. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[10]“Before Shooting Himself, Duerson Asked That His Brain Be Studied ….” 19 Feb. 2011, https://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/20/sports/football/20duerson.html. Accessed 18 Oct. 2018.
[11]“Steroids: As American as apple pie | Health | phillytrib.com.” 17 Mar. 2015, http://www.phillytrib.com/news/health/steroids-as-american-as-apple-pie/article_ce88f4d3-cc70-5c0d-9aa7-081fe8ac7a26.html. Accessed 22 Oct. 2018.
[12]“What are the risks of anabolic steroid use in teens? | National Institute ….” 21 Feb. 2018, https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/steroids-other-appearance-performance-enhancing-drugs-apeds/what-are-risks-anabolic-steroid-use-in-teens. Accessed 22 Oct. 2018.
[13]“Are Steroids as ‘American as Apple Pie’? : NPR.” 12 Jun. 2008, https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91432799. Accessed 22 Oct. 2018.
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